The rock band Red Hot Chili Peppers was initially formed in 1983 with four members, Anthony Kiedis (vocals), Michael Balzary (aka Flea, bass), Jack Irons (drums), and Hillel Slovak (guitar). In 1988, Hillel Slovak died of a heroine overdose at the age of 26. (Picture to the left is Slovak.)

In the bands recent biography, An Oralivisual History by the Red Hot Chili Peppers, Kiedis (who was also addicted to heroine) talks about the loss. "I denied it and didn't allow myself to feel the true nature of grief and loss until I go out of rehab. I went to visit his grave site, and started speaking to his ghost, and then I realized, 'Oh shit, my partner is gone.'" The loss led Kiedis into rehab. Irons couldn't take staying in the group after his friend died and eventually left.

Slovak was replaced by guitarist John Frusciante and the group has gone on to great success in his absence. In 1991, the group released the album Blood, Sugar, Sex, Magik (which is really their breakout album). One of the songs on this album, "My Lovely Man" was written as a tribute to Slovak.


Even if the Red Hot Chili Peppers aren't your musical style, the lyrics to this song are a very sweet, emotional tribute to a lost friend. The lyrics are fairly self explanatory and are at the end of the post. (FYI, Slim was a nickname for Slovak.)

On a previous album, Mother's Milk, the band released another song "Knock Me Down". Which is was also a tribute to Slovak. One of the lines of the song, "I'm part of you, you're part of me. Why did you go away?"

I used to shout
Across the room to you
And you'd come dancin'
Like a fool
shuffle step
You funky mother
Come to me
All warm as covers

Rest with me
My lovely brother
For you see
There is no other
Memory so sad and sweet
I'll see you soon
Save me a seat

Well I'm cryin'
Now my lovely man
Yes I'm cryin'
Now and no one can
we never fill the
The hole you left my man
I'll see you later
My lovely man if I can

In my room
I'm all alone
Waiting for you
To get home
Listen to Roberta Flack
But I know you won't come back

Well I'm cryin'
Now my lovely man
I'll see you later
My lovely man if I can

Just in case
You never knew
I miss you slim
I love you too
See my heart
It's black and blue
When I die
I will find you

Well I'm cryin'
Now my lovely man
Yes I'm cryin'
Now and no one can
we never fill the
The hole you left my man
I'll see you later
My lovely man if I can

Well I'm cryin'
My lovely man
Well I'm cryin'
My lovely man
I'll see you later
My lovely man
We have some good time
My lovely man

I recently saw the pilot for a new Showtime series, The Big C, which premiered in August. Cathy Jamison is a middle aged school teacher with a new diagnosis of advanced melanoma. She could do chemo but she feels it would only be buying her little time and everyone would be taking care of her. She sets out to make the most of her last year, in her own way.

She kicks out her imature husband and sets out to be the more spontaneous, liberated one herself. She essentially begins to build herself her a to do list in this first episode. She begins to have a pool installed so she can swim with her son as she did when she was young and she begins to reign in her unruly teenage son. She starts to help an overweight teenager quit smoking and lose weight. She pours wine on her couch, something she sees as a symbol of how uptight she was in the past, and plans to burn it in the yard.

Several times during the pilot she tries to tell her family about her diagnosis. Each time she changes her mind at the last minute. At the very end of the episode she tells her neighbor's dog.

One of my favorite scenes in the show is when Cathy goes out to eat lunch with her young doctor. She wants to know how it feels for him to deliver bad news and he divulges that she is the first person he has ever had to tell such news. He nervously asks how he did.

"Very professional and matter of fact but detailed. You dumbed it down enough to be clear but not insulting. And underneath it all you seemed sad and I appreciated that. But after you left the room I heard you joking with the nurse about putting the doughnuts too close to the urine samples and is that what your supposed to wash it down with... it made me doubt your sincerity."

End of life issues aside, I found the pilot to be entertaining. I have always liked Laura Linney (who plays Cathy) and I think she does an excellent job of balancing funny and serious, more on the funny side. I'm looking forward to watching more of this series.

There is an excellent article on the series in Obit Magazine written from the point of view of someone who has been diagnosed with cancer. Trailer below.