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If you ever write a 9 minute song you would hope it would be a good one. There are only a few 9 minute plus songs in my song collection but "The Trapeze Swinger" by Iron and Wine is one that stands out. If you have any familiarity with it you may remember it from the end credit sequence in the moderately memorable movie "In Good Company."

Hypnotically repetitive, I would occasionally put this song on repeat to fall asleep to when I lived alone during my palliative medicine fellowship (and my wife had to be in another city for her fellowship.) At first I took the 'please, remember me' line to be more about my long-distance relationship with my wife, but as I continued to listen to it falling asleep after long days of being surrounded by dying people at the hospice house the meaning clearly evolved.

Since the song is so long go ahead and start listening to it as you read the rest of this post.


Iron and Wine is really a one man band led by Samuel Bean. The simple strong structure repeats through the song with little accents placed on each verse by different instruments or Bean's voice. The back and forth nature of the song structure reminds me of being at the beach watching the waves come crashing in and then slowly recede.

The intro begins with soft wind chimes and what sounds like sea shells or a rain stick followed by the basic guitar melody and a chorus of 'oohhh-ohhhhhs.' As the song advances we hear a ton of different instruments: slide guitar, bass guitar, wood blocks, tom toms, percussive metal, an organ played in reverse, tympani drums, upright bass (around 4:53 - my favorite part!), a song played in reverse, piano, and finally a toy whistle. All of these instruments begin to layer into an increasingly complex sound. I can't imagine being the sound mixer on this song!

The lyrics obviously focus on a theme of rememberence and like the instrumentation the repetitive nature allows for different takes on the same theme. here are the first lines of all the verses laid together.

Please, remember me happily
But please, remember me fondly
And please, remember me that Halloween
So please, remember me mistakenly
And please, remember me as in the dream
But please, remember me, my misery
And please, remember me seldomly
So please, remember me finally

The perspective of the dying person wanting to instruct those still alive on how to keep the memory (and the legacy) alive is commonly seen in hospice and palliative care. How we as friends, family or staff enhance or suppress this legacy building is not often talked about as openly as this song manages. How would caring for a person who is dying be different if we spent some time with them asking how they would like to be remembered?

There are many religious references in the song, but each of them comes with a little bit of the singer's reality. Imagining the heaven with obscene graffiti, or rushed angels who want to get all the new souls through the door place an potentially unknowable realm in earthly terms.

Overall, Bean gives us a bit of poetry mixed with american folk and indie pop that allows you to discover a little something new with each listen. Please share any lines in this song stand out the most to you.

Lyrics by Iron and Wine (aka Samuel Bean) 2004

Please, remember me happily
By the rosebush laughing
With bruises on my chin, the time when
We counted every black car passing
Your house beneath the hill
And up until someone caught us in the kitchen
With maps, a mountain range, a piggy bank
A vision too removed to mention

But please, remember me fondly
I heard from someone you're still pretty
And then they went on to say
That the pearly gates
Had some eloquent graffiti
Like "We'll meet again" and "Fuck the man"
And "Tell my mother not to worry"
And angels with their great handshakes
Were always done in such a hurry

And please, remember me that Halloween
Making fools of all the neighbors
Our faces painted white
By midnight, we'd forgotten one another
And when the morning came I was ashamed
Only now it seems so silly
That season left the world and then returned
And now you're lit up by the city

So please, remember me mistakenly
In the window of the tallest tower
Calling passers-by but much too high
To see the empty road at happy hour
Gleam and resonate, just like the gates
Around the holy kingdom
With words like "Lost and found" and "Don't look down"
And "Someone save temptation"

And please, remember me as in the dream
We had as rug-burned babies
Among the fallen trees and fast asleep
Aside the lions and the ladies
That called you what you like and even might
Give a gift for your behavior
A fleeting chance to see a trapeze
Swinger high as any savior

But please, remember me, my misery
And how it lost me all I wanted
Those dogs that love the rain and chasing trains
The colored birds above their running
In circles around the well and where it spells
On the wall behind St. Peter
So bright, on cinder gray, in spray paint
"Who the hell can see forever?"

And please, remember me seldomly
In the car behind the carnival
My hand between your knees, you turned from me
And said, "The trapeze act was wonderful
But never meant to last", the clown that passed
Saw me just come up with anger
When it filled with circus dogs, the parking lot
Had an element of danger

So please, remember me finally
And all my uphill clawing
My dear, but if I make the pearly gates
I'll do my best to make a drawing
Of God and Lucifer, a boy and girl
An angel kissing on a sinner
A monkey and a man, a marching band
All around a frightened trapeze swinger

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Since the last gallery exhibit was entitled "restless", I wanted to explore the opposite notion of stillness.

There are moments when I walk into a patient's room that the stillness is so prevalent I have to check to see if the patient is still actually breathing. While the traditional thought of stillness is an absence of motion, stillness also refers to a quietness or calm that can actually occur in motion. I've experienced this form of stillness in dying patients' rooms as well.

It seems the most traditional way of depicting stillness in art is to display water. It is easy to capture the idea of non-movement with still water. Add some mist and a boat and you've got the most common symbol for stillness, as this photograph from unknown source depicts.

The following 3 photographs I've collaged together for better formatting, but to see the originals follow the title links. On the upper left is a variation of the water concept, sans boat and instead lovely grass sprouting from perfectly still water and reflected below. This work "Stillness" is by photograph Gunther Dippe. The next, in lower left is a photo by Kris Schirmer entitled "Stillness- and the sun shines in my heart." A fallen flower petal symbolizes an ending to me, thus this piece resonated the type of stillness I feel in the room of someone dying. Finally from a Flikr photostream by Qmanes is "Stillness" shot with an extremely long shutter speed. The motion of the water and clouds is perfectly juxtaposed to the stationary object in the lower right.



I found this abstract work to the left by Linda Cole of encaustic wax on screen entitled "Stillness in Motion" To me the motion is symbolized with the circle, while the stillness is represented by the linear portion.

Finally, sticking with the tradition of finding a sculpture, I found a digital print series that at least looks like sculpture. The series can be found at Gladys Triana's website. Of the four listed, it is "Stillness XIII"2007 that is displayed on the right.

Looking back at the art work from "restless" and comparing it to these is an exercise in itself. The emotional response the art evokes seems synonymous to the titles.

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Having had many talks with families recently about the end of life phenomenon of terminal delirium or terminal restlessness, I wondered how this concept had been depicted visually in art. As with other gallery themes we've done on pain, the last breath and afterlife, I've scoured the Internet in search of interesting art.

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The beauty of art is its uniqueness. Art is by definition an expression of the artists' ideas, emotions, ideas and thoughts. Taking this in mind I thought it would be interesting to take an idea and include a myriad of different works expressing that same idea. We'll likely do this from time to time on this site. It will be like our own themed gallery exhibit. For this first art group I've chosen the title "Last Breath" (with occasional variations).

All these works were found by browsing the internet, and often it is only the title and work itself that I have been able to find. This leaves the interpretation completely to our imaginations.

This first piece on the right "Last Breathe"(1989) is by Petar Mazev (1927-1993). He is a Macedonian artist who did this piece during a time of self-isolation, grieving the death of his eldest son. This, more than the other pieces, seems violent. The colors are very bold and to me I see a wolf or something attacking a figure on the left.

Cathy Woo is a fine artist who lives in Seattle. Her website states that her paintings "reflect a lifetime spent walking outdoors". This piece to the left "Last Breath"(2007) is of rice paper on plexiglas. The circle reminds me of a mouth, or the breath itself, shaped like a ring of smoke.

From the opposite coast is Helen Hawes who also finds inspiration from nature. She lives in Vermont and her website says she is pursuing an advanced degree in Walking in the Woods. Her work to the right, "Last Breath" is part of a series called "Earth and Sky Lineage". I appreciate the face, expelling that last breath. I see the blue parts in the lighted area as the actual last breath. Though representing more than air perhaps?

I found this work to the left on an Austrailian arts site. The piece entitled "Last Breath ??" is by artist Adrienne Conway who won an award for this piece. Reading the judges comments for the award I realized this was actually depicting a whale's breath. When I think about a visual representation of breathing, there is nothing so magnificant as a whale's breath.

Contrast Adrienne's piece visually to the digital art piece by ISO25 on the right. From a compostition stand point they are similar. The center is filled with the idea separated by a void of blackness. Both depicting the concept of breath, however, one is an enormous last breath, giving the impression of loudness, while the other a tiny ember of a breath. ISO25 wrote below his piece "Last Breath" the following: "ashes to ashes/dust to dust/the body is mortal/the spirit eternal". His piece along with comments was found here.

And finally 2 other similar pieces from nature. The first on the left and on top is a photographic art piece by Colin Shafer called "Last Breath" taken in Mount Kinabalu, Malaysia. The artist writes "An old tree reaches out into the clouds on this great mountain". Very similar to this is Rahul Chandel's digital art piece "Last Breath" to the left on the bottom. Interesting that both artists have used the idea of a barren tree and cloudy skys to represent the ending of life, or the last breath.

Collectivley all 7 of these pieces bear the same title, yet they are conceptually quite different. Ironically, I think if I entered an exhibit hall with each of these pieces and no titles, I'd have a hard time looking at them all and coming up with "Last Breath" as the theme.

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The amazing collaboration supported by the internet and user-created content never ceases to amaze me both in the inane and profound. The growth of video sharing sites has unearthed numerous media clips that would previously been lost to the ages or only held in the memory of a few people. A hat tip to Scott Lake for forwarding this clip titled "You're Going to Die" to me.

Anyway...to the clip itself. I find it to be an exercise in opposites. Go ahead and watch it first and then I will demonstrate some off those points of opposition. (Note the meat of it doesn't start until after 40 sec in). (For email subscribers click the title above to go to the web page to view)



The narration is done by Vito Acconci , a NY-based performance artist, and the entire work is often credited to him, although the words were written by Timothy Furstnau, and the video itself was done by Dennis Palazzolo.

Furstnau explains on his site his "text uses a strategy employed in much of my textual work of exploring one monolithic idea ad nauseum bonum, but with a bit of a children’s story tone." I could not find any reference to ad nauseum bonum, so one assumes it means an argument by repetition for a good cause. The calling to mind a children's book also strikes an opposing conventional eisdom to the subject of death. The narrarator does set up a pretty even cadence as you listen to the video more.

Some of the text appears to be condescending to those who 'say nice things to you, or tell you wild stories.' But the narrator is only trying to demonstrate his world view which is true to him. The comments on You Tube devolve into: the existence of heaven, the atheist/agnostic vs. Christian debate, how this is depressing to watch. The great part about the dismissal of the 'stories' we tell ourselves, is the narrator usaully says 'But this is OK too."

The deep montone voice of Acconci is devoid of any emotion. He statements are meant to be as such to emphasize these are the facts. I would imagine most people see discussions about dying as emotional and here Acconci plays it to the opposite extreme.

In the end this potentially depressing video strikes a completely opposite tone by stating the knowledge of death makes life meaningful. Which is really the important message here. Some more learned readers might pick up on some Buddhist references in this clip, so feel free to post your insights in the comments.

Piece: You're Going to Die (2000) (video)
Text: Timothy Furstnau
Narration: Vito Acconci
Directed by: Dennis Palazzolo

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Amy's earlier post on postmortem photography reminded me of an article I had read sometime ago about a photo exhibit entitled "Life Before Death". This exhibit contains 24 pairs of black-and-white photos, one before and one after death. They were on display earlier this year as part of the Wellcome Collection, an art collection in London that focuses on the development of medicine.

Journalist Beate Lakotta and photographer Walter Schels spent a year following hospice patients in Germany. The people they photographed ranged from 17 months to 83 years old. They also conducted interviews of those they photographed.

The photos above are of 67 yo Edelgard Clavey. “I want so very much to die. I want to become part of that vast extraordinary light. But dying is hard work.”

The photos below are of 52 year old Heiner Schmitz. “Don’t they get it? I’m going to die! That’s all I think about, every second when I’m on my own."

Per an article on the exhibit, the goal of the artists was to break through the taboo of talking about death. "The dying want to talk about what it feels like to die, and the living ought to listen, for death can strike at any time."

When comparing the photos, I could see the normal signs of death, eyes sunken in, a loss of fullness in the face. But something interesting I noticed in all the photos was a shadow cast across the faces of the person after they died. It's as if a light has gone out.


I must admit when I first saw these photos, I found them a bit disturbing. When I really looked at them and started reading about the exhibit, I changed my view. During an interview about the exhibit Schels said, "People are almost always pretending something, but these people had lost that need. I felt it enabled me as a photographer to get as close as it's possible to get to the core of a person; when you're facing the end, everything that's not real is stripped away. You're the most real you'll ever be, more real than you've ever been before".

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Many hospice organizations have printed up little booklets for families to read giving a "what to expect" of the dying process. This idea is by no means a new concept. In fact, one of the first books printed with movable type back in the 1400's was just such a book. "Ars Moriendi" (The Art of Dying) was a book written by an anonymous Dominican friar in 1415. It was THE book on how to prepare to die and how to die well. You can be the judge of how relevant such a book would be for today.

The book describes the five temptations that dying people face. In 5 different scenes a devil invites the temptations of lack of faith, despair, impatience, vanity and greed. The next 5 scenes depicted are the solutions to these temptations, what one must seek to die well: Faith, hope, patience, humility and generosity. This line drawing is from the artist Master E.S. from 1440, one of the earliest depictions of the Ars Moriendi text, entitled "Impatience". Note the chachetic look of the dying man, his ribs clearly visible. See the table knocked down and the dying mans leg kicking a caregiver in the back. When I see this picture I think of delirium, or terminal restlessness that we see in the dying process. I suppose labeling it impatience was the best reason they had to give such extreme behavior.

The artist Hieronymus Bosch also depicted this theme in his painting entitled "Ars Moriendi"(1490). In this illustration he attempts to depict the struggle between good and evil. The angel is on the dying man's deathbed attempting to direct his eyes upward to the crucifix illuminated in the window by divine light. Meanwhile a little devil is attempting to give the man a purse of money. We are left not knowing which path this man will take, as death sneaks into the room with an arrow in his hand.

What would a picture of Ars Moreindi look like today? How would we in modern times communicate what it means to die well? Perhaps the ideas of faith, hope, patience, humility and generosity are still components of the process even now.

Works: Master E.S.(1440) "Impatience"
Bosch, Heronymus(1490) "Ars Moreindi"