When I was trying to think of why I liked some songs at funerals and not others, there are a few elements of the songs that seemed to sway me. 1. Do I actually like the song (of course)? 2. What is the intent of the song? 3. What thoughts does this song conjure up when I hear it?
These are songs that I have actually heard at funerals. So, in no particular order:
Somewhere Over the Rainbow-I actually do like this song as far as songs go. I don't think it is too emotionally heavy. My issue with it is that every time I hear it I think of Dorothy and the Wicked Witch. And then the next song that pops into my head is... Ding Dong the Witch is Dead. I've heard it at funerals a couple times and it just doesn't put me in a
very funeral mindset.Memory-I don't particularly like this song, but I dislike it for funerals for a similar reason as the above. Every time I hear it I think of dancing people dressed up as cats. Again, weird mindset for a funeral.
Holes in the Floor of Heaven by Steve Wariner-First I'm not a huge country fan but that is not why I don't care for this one. I put this in a group of songs that I consider to be emotional torture. They are the songs that you just know you will get people crying with. If the purpose of a song is to make people more sad and crying, why would you play it at a funeral where people are already sad and crying. (Again, completely my opinion.) If I'm going to cry at a funeral I think it should be for the person who has died, not for the manipulative song.But in the end, it doesn't really matter what I or anyone else thinks. Writing this post, I looked through a lot of lists of music that are put out as suggestions for funeral songs. Disturbingly, the song my husband and I danced to at our wedding was on a list (Never Tear Us Apart by INXS). I think this just shows that songs take on different meanings to different people. If it gives you peace to play Another Bites the Dust at a loved ones funeral, then I think you should.
I am immediately adding "Another one bites the dust" to my advanced directive!!! Great suggestion.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your post.
ReplyDeleteBeing involved with church music ministry means singing for a LOT of funerals and I gotta say I appreciated singing from a loft so that no one could see the eye rolling. Me? I start gagging when "On Eagle's Wings" is on the list.
At my father's funeral a few years ago, we played a video photo montage to the tune of "Turn Turn Turn" by the Byrds. It felt appropriate, and not too cheesy.
ReplyDeleteGood ones of the country persuasion: "Who Will Sing for Me?" and "Angel Band," both popularized by Emmylou Harris; "Life is Like a Mountain Railroad;""City of New Orleans" and, of course,"We'll Meet Again."
ReplyDeleteOnes I like:
ReplyDeleteBeatles, In My Life
Kansas, Dust in the Wind
Seals and Crofts, We May Never Pass This Way Again
Think I'll add those to my 5 Wishes.
Thanks for the post.
"Wind Beneath My Wings"... feh.
ReplyDeleteBut I do like "On Eagles Wings".
Thanks for all your comments. I've never been one for gospel music but I love Amazing Grace at a funeral. Another good one is My Way. Wikipedia says it is the song most frequently played at British funeral services. The source of that info wasn't cited so who knows.
ReplyDeleteMy husband requested at his funeral, Silent Night. The minister prefaced it by saying ," I bet you wonder why we are singing Silent Night in September in the afternoon." He preceded to say that he understood my husband always got his way and the congregation laughed. We still sang the song as the closing hymn. Sometimes It is not about us!
ReplyDeleteI have thought about this and want some tears but also some fun at my funeral:
ReplyDeleteNo Woman No Cry Xavier Rudd
And when I Die Blood, Swat & Tears
Adagio for Strings Opus 11 Barber
Mary Don't You Weep The Swan Silvertones
This May Be the last Time The Original Five Blind Boys of Alabama
Honey on my Grave Red Mollys
Spirit in the Sky Norman Greenberg
Treme Second Line Kermit Ruffin
I absolutely hate "On Eagles Wings."
ReplyDeleteSeveral years ago as a long solemn (natch) funeral procession drove by, someone not associated had his car stereo blaring the Stones' "you gotta tell me you're comin' back to me..."
ReplyDeleteI absolutely hate "On Eagles Wings."
ReplyDeleteMy husband requested at his funeral, Silent Night. The minister prefaced it by saying ," I bet you wonder why we are singing Silent Night in September in the afternoon." He preceded to say that he understood my husband always got his way and the congregation laughed. We still sang the song as the closing hymn. Sometimes It is not about us!
ReplyDeleteOnes I like:
ReplyDeleteBeatles, In My Life
Kansas, Dust in the Wind
Seals and Crofts, We May Never Pass This Way Again
Think I'll add those to my 5 Wishes.
Thanks for the post.